I feel like writing this to kind of verify for myself and others that I'm not completely dead to the world. While I may not be updating my Facebook status or Twitter feed with cryptic messages, I'm only refraining from doing so because I really don't want to deal with all the questions. My blog is obscure enough that it won't solicit prying eyes from phantom friends and other Facebook junkies and Twitter addicts.

Life's been kinda rough lately. I moved back to school last week and started my classes this past Monday. The classes seem doable, so there's no problem there. However, right now I'm trying to work out which musical things conflict with each other and how I'm going to manage all that. Stuff that makes me unhappy, but it's what happens when you're a music major. *ahem*

And just as well, the past comes back to haunt as I return from a summer of optimism to the place where my life changed. Forever. And to think freshman year was only two years ago... I'm resolving issues with ghosts from my past and trying to see what they're trying to tell me about the now and later. I kind of wish it wasn't all so cryptic but that's what makes it so much more rewarding to figure out. And that much more rare. *sigh* Yesterday I asked through Twitter if it was really worth it to deal in such abstract mediums when so many people miss the point.

A friend of mine told me that it was worth it for those who do get the point.

I was walking back from my audition today and I was wondering what kind of friend I was. You know, what was I good for? Yes, I was musical and mathematical and I like helping out and stuff, but what about the basics? Am I the funny friend, am I the serious friend, what? What role do I play? After much self-deliberation, I decided that I'm the friend that fills the voids. If you don't have a goofy friend, then I'm your guy. If you need someone to debate philosophy with or just vent to, I can be that friend as well. I don't have a well-defined role because I don't think I'm that well-defined.

Indeed, what happens when there aren't any voids to fill? What do I become then?

These are just some of the things that have been on my mind lately.